The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F

Author: Mark Manson
Publish: September 13, 2016
Page: 224 (English)
Genre: Non-Fiction, Self-help

Synopsis
In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.
For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.
Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.
There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Review
Hello all. This time I will review the book written by Mark Manson entitled "The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck". Well the title sounds so rude, but the contents can give us a lot of insight. This book is a self-improvement book whose language is easy to understand. from this book I learned don't judge a book by its cover
Overall, this book tries to comfort us from failure and even though we fall we'll still be okay. So for those of you who may be experiencing failure or desperate, reading and understanding this book is very helpful to see a problem from a different perspective. And don't be surprised if a lot of the impolite impressions that Mark uses in explaining things because it is a characteristic of Mark Manson's writing.
in each chapter Mark Manson usually gives a picture by telling a true story whether he experienced it himself or someone else. So, we can more easily understand the intent of each of the writings he delivered

Chapter 1 : don't try
Beginning with the story of Bukowski, he was a novelist who began to peak in his career in his 50s. He managed to publish 6 novels, hundreds of poems, and sell more than two million copies. But the story of his life is not far from alcohol, drugs, gambling, and women. Even though he is a successful writer, He is actually a loser. The success he achieved was not able to transform himself into a better person.
In my opinion, Manson tries to distinguish between success and self-improvement. As he wrote in his book.
Self-Improvement and success often occur together. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they are the same thing.

Success doesn't guarantee someone to be better. An example is Bukowski. The community paradigm of success is always associated with material. Success is a high-paying job, a good car, a nice house, a beautiful / handsome wife / girlfriend. Better money, more money, more possession, more than this and that. So, in the end we focus on having higher-paying jobs, becoming more popular, having more of this and that. Focus to be more. Actually there is nothing wrong with having more material or physical, but the problem is too focused to be more. Too much care about the standard of success is not good for us. Because we will dedicate our lives to success and satisfaction, which is not guaranteed guarantee and make us a better person.
The highlight of this chapter is when it explains that a good experience is a bad experience. And the bad experience itself is a good experience. Well, he wrote it like this (who knows our interpretation is different).
“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience itself a positive experience”

Suppose we want to be rich. The more we want to be rich, the more we feel poor, the more we feel the lack of how much money we make. Or the more we want to be beautiful, the more we feel ugly, even though maybe we already look beautiful or we are not bad. That is, we do not feel grateful for what we have. When we accept what we have now or when we can still accept a failure, isn't that better than being obsessed with being someone more?
In this chapter, Mark explains why we must be smart in choosing which ones we deserve to be concerned about and which ones we should ignore. Because not all things deserve our attention, especially when we experience a problem or difficulty (negative experiences).

Chapter 2: Happiness is a problem
Well, in this second chapter Mark Manson argues that life is a form of misery and happiness that results from resolving the problem / misery itself. The rich are miserable with their wealth and the poor are miserable with their poverty. But that doesn't mean the misery that everyone feels is the same, some misery is certainly more painful than others. But he tried to explain that everyone's life could not be avoided from difficulties, misery or pain. Because the pain of an experience teaches us to give attention to our former self and the carelessness that we do. Having trouble is not the wrong thing. Having trouble and pain benefits us to connect with the reality that is around us.
“Life is essentially an endless series of problems. The solution to one problem is merely the creation of the next one”

So, as long as we live, we will continue to face problems and difficulties. And never expect to live without problems, except hoping for life filled with problems that can make us better. Instead we have to ask ourselves when we feel we have never experienced difficulties. And happiness will come when we can solve problems. happiness is a form of action, activity, not something that suddenly comes to us without cause. Happiness is a response to what we do. And happiness requires struggle. Isn't it necessary to get the sweet mango from the tree we plant? We must diligently water it when the tree is still in the shape of a seed planted in the ground, giving it fertilizer, keeping the fruit from being stolen?

So is it clear that happiness basically consists of problems?
So, these 2 chapters underlie our understanding as to why we should be clever to choose which ones will focus on our lives and which ones we need to ignore because we will damage ourselves if we care about the next chapter I will write next week.